Commercials

I hate 99.9 % of commercials on Television. So to show my hatred often I ponder on how to improve some of them with alternate endings.
For instance This one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz7uBH-outY
It's stupid as hell. So to fix it, I'd make the dude at the end vomit his BK breakfast at the notion that the robo-king has probably finger-banged or at least felt up his wife.

Another BK commercial, this one is one of the first to show this new King character that creeps the hell out of people. This commercial pretty much sickened me worse than the newer ones.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIi_WFONCgw
Anyways my rewrite would go something like this: Opening scene: Dude wakes up looking all hung over. Dude then makes a painful face as he clearly has a HUGE headache, he then pushes about a dozen beer bottles onto the floor and grabs his head. He then sees a used condom laying in front of him
Second shot: Dude realizes something is terribly wrong, rolls over and sees the king holding that stupid sandwhich. Dude then vomits off the side of the bed, while king laughs!

Another one is a classic from a few years back, one of my favorites in fact.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOBsYdLLr8Q
OK for the alternate ending for this one would be to show the mannequin BACK at the store wearing blood-splattered jeans then a zoom in on his equally splattered face. Yeah, I know awesome.

This one is one of my personal favorites! I can't believe people these are all on youtube! In fact this is an extended version from the one I've seen a million times a few years back. the one I seen didn't show the shower scene and a few of the other smaller shots and didn't show him giving cpr to the dummy at the very end, but just taking back his juicy fruit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1erBpeWfiM
Anyways my ending would be him taking back the juicy fruit then stomping on the dummy's head and thus releasing a huge amount of blood which splatters on the boys face and he smiles and chews away! ha ha ha ha, nice!

Wow, I knew I hated commercials a lot, but I didn't realize how sickly I actually thought about them until I wrote it all out like this. I would be afraid that people would think I'm sick for even thinking this stuff up, but I know only Norris will actually read this blog so it's cool. I'm working on drawing up some storyboards for my rewrites. So look forward to them!